Litchi Faye-Ling (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not_meatbuns) wrote2010-12-31 06:03 pm
not_meatbuns) wrote2010-12-31 06:03 pm
Rebel 30 [Action!]
[It's been replaying in her mind over and over for days now: "Fight the future, not the past." She remembers Thirteen saying it so clearly even though it was so many months ago. And even though it struck her hard back then, now, it just won't leave her. Maybe it's the new year looming just over the horizon, but for whatever reason, it's been echoing in her mind all day.
Fight the future...
It's been so long since the whole mess with Sector Seven. Over three years, as far as she's concerned. And especially here, with the Boundary cut off from her at last and a "family" here to support and live for... is there really any reason to keep fighting something so long gone? Isn't it about time to let go and look to the future?
...Shouldn't it not be so hard to let go?
It's the guilt. She knows it's the guilt that's making things far harder than they should be. And beneath that guilt, she knows somewhere she still has some sort of feelings for the one she loved and lost, but she isn't sure anymore where the guilt ends and the love begins.
There's also a different kind of guilt, come to think of it... guilt that she can't make up her mind whether to just let go once and for all or stay true to her past.
The future... not the past.
She knows: she has to make up her mind soon before this gets any further out of hand. She can't drag out the decision for another year. She has to move on or...
...Or give up on building a new future with the people she loves here. On starting things anew completely, once and for all. On letting herself just be happy with how things are rather than dredging up old guilt.
...Why is this so hard...?]
[Today, a few hours before sundown, Litchi heads out for a walk. Normally, she'd be stopping several times along the way to talk to people or stop in a store, but today, she just looks quiet and withdrawn. Her troubles are clear on her face, but despite the cold and the snow covering the ground, she'll be out until well after sundown.
It's time to get her thoughts straight. Time to decide -- move on? Or keep clinging to the hope that somehow, things will go back to how they were so long ago?
While she's out walking, she'll make a slow circle through the entire village. Anyone running into her around the village is sure to notice her distracted demeanor, but she won't exactly turn down anyone to talk to (in fact, she could probably use that right about now). Eventually, she'll find her way back to House 48 and stop uncertainly halfway up the walkway.
...It's now or never.]
Fight the future...
It's been so long since the whole mess with Sector Seven. Over three years, as far as she's concerned. And especially here, with the Boundary cut off from her at last and a "family" here to support and live for... is there really any reason to keep fighting something so long gone? Isn't it about time to let go and look to the future?
...Shouldn't it not be so hard to let go?
It's the guilt. She knows it's the guilt that's making things far harder than they should be. And beneath that guilt, she knows somewhere she still has some sort of feelings for the one she loved and lost, but she isn't sure anymore where the guilt ends and the love begins.
There's also a different kind of guilt, come to think of it... guilt that she can't make up her mind whether to just let go once and for all or stay true to her past.
The future... not the past.
She knows: she has to make up her mind soon before this gets any further out of hand. She can't drag out the decision for another year. She has to move on or...
...Or give up on building a new future with the people she loves here. On starting things anew completely, once and for all. On letting herself just be happy with how things are rather than dredging up old guilt.
...Why is this so hard...?]
[Today, a few hours before sundown, Litchi heads out for a walk. Normally, she'd be stopping several times along the way to talk to people or stop in a store, but today, she just looks quiet and withdrawn. Her troubles are clear on her face, but despite the cold and the snow covering the ground, she'll be out until well after sundown.
It's time to get her thoughts straight. Time to decide -- move on? Or keep clinging to the hope that somehow, things will go back to how they were so long ago?
While she's out walking, she'll make a slow circle through the entire village. Anyone running into her around the village is sure to notice her distracted demeanor, but she won't exactly turn down anyone to talk to (in fact, she could probably use that right about now). Eventually, she'll find her way back to House 48 and stop uncertainly halfway up the walkway.
...It's now or never.]
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Litchi can probably tell what he's messing with are relatively low-yield fireworks, presumably prepping them for launch later in the evening. They may not be the big, impressive ones that China could've made, but damn if he didn't want to try to make do with what he could find.]
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He'd actually found the fireworks.
After all that uncertainty all day, now all of a sudden she just feels downright happy. Unable to keep down a warm smile (and not even noticing that she's tearing up just a bit), she heads out into the yard to join him.]
Do you need a hand?
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Either way, he looks back to her, still sticking fireworks into the ground.]
I've just about got it. Welcome back.
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Weak laugh. She's feeling a little overwhelmed.] I can't believe you got all of these...
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I'll admit, I was surprised myself. Lucked out in the general store. I gotta wonder if they knew we wanted to celebrate. ...But for whatever reason they were there, I'm glad they were.
[And he finishes wiring up this cluster and then stands up and turns toward her.]
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...Maybe this isn't such a hard decision after all...
It takes her a beat or two to realize she hasn't responded at all quite yet. And then she gives a small, apologetic cough.]
We really have gotten lucky, haven't we?
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We have. Over a lot of things lately.
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...I have to agree. It really has been wonderful just being able to spend the holidays with you and the girls. It was always so busy back in Kagutsuchi, I never really had a chance to celebrate like this...
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[...He never really got much in the way of leave for Christmas or New Year. Most of his family was either far away from station in Erusea or died in Ulysses. He spent more Christmases with Yellow Squadron after the Incident than he did with his own family. ...So admittedly, a Christmas with Litchi, Tsubaki, and Tao... without a doubt, the best one he had since the asteroids fell. Probably even longer than that.]
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[She meets his gaze and gives him a small but genuine smile.] We'll have to do all of this again next year, hm?
[It isn't until she's already said it that she realizes just how much she wants things to stay just the way they are now. Maybe... she already has made up her mind...]
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Yeah, we will. I'd love that.
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Her tone turns almost playful.] Shouldn't you come inside for a bit to warm up? I can make you some coffee if you'd like.
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A date I wouldn't refuse.
...Of course, I won't refuse coffee either. It is pretty cold out here. [He steps next to her to walk alongside her.] Shall we?
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...Let's go, then.
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And with that, he'll start walking back toward the house, hand-in-hand with her.]
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Because someone is sipping tea outside as the sun sets above.*
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Dammit, Rachel!Litchi pauses, spotting the girl outside with her tea, and gives a polite nod in greeting.]no subject
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*She gestures to the second teacup on the little table.* Would you care to join me?
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Yes, thank you. If it's no bother, of course.
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[Because she's been out here a long time and it's cold. Tea would be so great right now. Rachel, you are a life saver.]
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*But fuck no, she's not going to pour it for you Litchi. Do it yourself B|*
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In any case, I really do appreciate it. It's such a cold day.
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That's not quite what I was hoping when I left, no. But it has been a while since I headed out, so the warmth is a welcome change.
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And here I had not thought you as the type to wander aimlessly in such frigid weather to the point where you would need something so warm. How odd.
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[The better for thinking with, my dear.]
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...so I see. How quaint.
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I... suppose you could say that.
[Just going to try sipping some tea here.]
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And I suppose now is the moment where you expect me to ask precisely what it is that troubles you, so that you might save yourself the pressure of further internally penning up your frustration?
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I wouldn't want to bother anyone else with my own concerns. It's really something I need to figure out for myself.
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*A sip of tea.* It's hardly as exquisite as that found at home.
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I don't know... a good friend gave me some tea he found at one of the stores around here and it's really quite good. I'm sure it all just depends on what kind you get.